


Shadows, Blood, ... Empty

by HuiLian



Category: Original Work
Genre: Rape/Non-con Elements, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-15
Updated: 2018-08-15
Packaged: 2019-06-27 20:35:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15692916
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HuiLian/pseuds/HuiLian
Summary: May 1998. Revolution unfolded; disasters struck. The sky was black with smoke, the streets were black with soot. Vehicles were burned, adding smoke to the blackened sky. Windows were painted black, the owner wishing it wouldn’t attract the crowd’s attention.





	Shadows, Blood, ... Empty

**Author's Note:**

> This was written as an entry to a writing competition a few years ago. I decided to post this here.

Black.

 I can only see black. This happens every day. I see black, only black. Darkness and only darkness. Shadows that take my life. Darkness that absorbs joy and jocundity. Black as night, dark as death.

            _May 1998. Revolution unfolded; disasters struck. The sky was black with smoke, the streets were black with soot. Vehicles were burned, adding smoke to the blackened sky. Windows were painted black, the owner wishing it wouldn’t attract the crowd’s attention._

_I was walking as fast as I could, hoping, begging, that no one from the crowd would notice me. But that hope was frail, fragile. Hundreds, even thousands of girls and women were attacked yesterday. Nobody was sure they would not be the next._

_As I was walking down the direction of my home, a man pulled my arms.  I realized I never remembered his face, what he wore, or what his posture was. I only remembered him as a shadow. Dark._

_He dragged me to an alley. He pushed me to the shadows. Other men followed him as he did it. I couldn’t recall how many of them were there, surrounding me. They were shadows to me. Darkness in its purest form._

            Before, I was never afraid of the dark. Until that incident happened, I had never had any fear of the dark, both the darkness itself nor the unknown things lurking in the dark. Afterwards though, things were different. Darkness is something I can’t stand. Darkness is a thing to recoil from. Darkness cannot make its way to me.

            I fear darkness and shadows. I fear that one day, I will be a shadow itself. I fear that I will melt and become the darkness. I fear black.

***

            Red.

I cannot see the beauty in red. When others see red, they might see energy, courage, and confidence. I do not. Every time I see red, I see greed, I see lust. I see blood.

_Blood was running down the alley. At first, I was confused. Where did the blood come from? How could there be blood? I looked down. I was bleeding._

_I gathered my clothes. I couldn’t fathom what had happened. I put my clothes on and walked out of the alley. I was overwhelmed with what I saw. Why had I not seen it before? The city was saturated with red._

_Fires burned the buildings. Blood was all over the city, tainting everything red. This city has turned into a sea of red._

_When I saw that, I ran. My blood, dripping as I ran, making the red streets even redder. I didn’t care. I kept running. A building caught fire next to me. I kept running. Somebody was beaten up in front of me. I kept running. A man was nearly dead from bleeding. I kept running._

_I didn’t know why I ran. Maybe it was because I wanted to escape. Maybe it was because I was scared of the people who did it. I only knew that I ran. I ran, I ran, and I ran. I didn’t know how far I’d run. I finally stopped out of exhaustion. By then, I didn’t know where I was in the city. I dropped down. I never got up again, not entirely._

            Red is blood. Red is fire. Red is violence. I avoid red at all cost. Red makes me remember the blood splatters on the streets, the fires burning in the buildings. I see the tribulation events again. I see it right before my eyes.

***

            White.

White is light. Blinding light. It blinds people who seek it and destroys those unable to bear it. White is a color stripped of colors. White is bare and empty. White is isolated.

            White is something I see every day now. White is something I have gotten used to. I sought light when I fled the country.  I came back empty.  I had dared to hope that perhaps, just perhaps, white might be my salvation. That white could be the future for me, a clean, new future.

            How had I dared to hope? I was just one of the victims in the May 1998 riots, just another casualty in the revolution.  Just another girl who was raped.

**Author's Note:**

> This shows a girl that was involved in May 1998 revolution in Jakarta, Indonesia. The story is really this dark, and girls, especially Chinese girls, were raped all around the streets. Not a lot of people know abut 1998 revolution.
> 
> check out my tumblr (huilian.tumblr.com)


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